So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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