Buhtt sex?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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