Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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