She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
