The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
