Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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