Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize