You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
