Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
