The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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