You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
