Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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