Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
