Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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