I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize