i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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