I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Shame - the story of my life.
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