dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
