when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize