i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
