he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
