I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
