Can i not drive my cunt home
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
