If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
