I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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