There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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