Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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