in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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