Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
