i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
