First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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