She is in my trunk
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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