yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
