ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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