ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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