Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
