Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
