Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
