I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize