My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
