My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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