Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
