literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
