The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
