I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
