you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
