wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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