Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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