Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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