guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
