i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
