this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
