I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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