Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
