If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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