Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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