I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
