Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
