he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
