Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
