And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
