i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
