but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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